


Rebound

by danfaz94



Series: Spander Canon [3]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Closeted Character, Gay, Gay Character, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Non-Canon Relationship, Oral Sex, Public Blow Jobs, Public Sex, Sex, Top Xander Harris, Xander Harris-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-06
Updated: 2018-04-06
Packaged: 2019-04-19 06:56:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14231751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danfaz94/pseuds/danfaz94
Summary: Since the destruction of Sunnydale only a week or so ago, Xander Harris has found himself drifting in Los Angeles to try and sort his head out. His friends think he's mourning the death of his ex-girlfriend, Anya, but in reality he's still grieving the loss of the one who got away - Spike. Could a young bartender be the rebound he's looking for? A SEQUEL TO "AFTER DARK" AND "LOVE NEVER DIES"





	Rebound

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel to my previous works "After Dark" and "Love Never Dies". Like those, this plays with the idea that Xander and Spike have secretly had sex during the course of the show, whilst still in-keeping with canon. This takes place directly after the Buffy Season 7 episode Chosen and before the Angel Season 5 episode Conviction. It does not contradict the canon comic book follow up to Buffy.

Xander Harris wasn’t sure if he would ever get used to the fast-paced lifestyle that came with being in Los Angeles. Not that it mattered, though, since he wasn’t planning on staying there for long.

‘Another of these, please,’ he said, holding up the bottle of beer he’d just finished.

’Sure thing,’ the bartender responded.

It was late. Well, technically early since it was past midnight – but it had nonetheless been a long time since Xander had been asleep. He hoped the alcohol would help with that because the insomnia he had been plagued with lately was driving him mad. It was barely over week since he’d fought alongside his friends against the First Evil and witnessed the destruction of his hometown, Sunnydale. In the days that had followed, he’d only managed about one or two hours of slumber.

Coming to Los Angeles was almost too cliché a decision for him to even take seriously, yet it made sense to him that this is where he’d come for some time out. After all, whenever anyone else he knew had skipped town – Buffy, Angel, Cordelia – they headed straight for the City of Angels. Why should he be any different? And it wasn’t as though he planned to stay here permanently. This was just a place to gather is thoughts before he set off on his real journey of self discovery.

As he was handed his drink, Xander could have sworn the bartender gave him a wink. Was he imagining things? Maybe. It was a young guy, though only by about a year or so. They were around the same height, but this guy was a tad on the skinny side. Overall though, he was attractive. Not exactly Xander’s type, but then again, did he actually have one? He’d only strictly been with one guy, though that didn’t stop him from having secret crushes on other people. Buffy’s college boyfriend, Riley, for starters. And there were a few guys on the construction site that he’d checked out, too. But every one of these men had one thing in common and that was that they were well-built, masculine dudes. The guy working here wasn’t exactly feminine, but he wasn’t who Xander would normall go for.

Anyway, there was no guarantee that this guy was interested. It was possible he was imagining things. Still, it prevent Xander from imagining the possibilities. If he hooked up with this guy then he’d probably end up being the dominant one. That would make a quite a change from the only gay experience he’d had and that was a somewhat thrilling prospect. Plus, it would show that other men do find him attractive. Xander had made such a habit of attracting so many female demons back in Sunnydale that he was wondering if he could ever be that successful at alluring males.

Xander hadn’t had sex since Sunnydale collapsed, and that had been with Anya – one of those deals where it only happened because it might be the last chance they got before they died. And for her, it had been just that. For Xander, it was now just another instance of him using the poor girl for his own selfish desires. It seemed to be a common theme in his life. She was right to have said that she had loved him more than he’d loved her.

But of course, Anya hadn’t been the only casualty that day.

Spike. He had lost Spike.

Nobody would ever know how much that vampire meant to him. Every one of his friends assumed that his current leave of absence from the Scooby Gang was down to him mourning Anya’s death. And maybe that was true to a certain extent, but he knew deep down whom it was he was really missing. Xander had only ever had sex with one man in his life and that was Spike. The one that got away.

Xander wasn’t delusional. He knew that Spike did not hold him in the same regard. It was Buffy who the vampire had longed for – Xander was just a stop along the road. For him, though, that night in his parent’s basement had altered his life in a way he’d never thought possible.

’Is everything alright?’

He looked up and saw the bartender looking at him with concern. ‘Oh, err, yeah,’ Xander assured him. 

‘Just... you know, been a rough few weeks.’

‘You wanna talk about it?’

Xander sighed. ‘I wouldn’t know where to begin.’

‘Names usually do the trick.’ He extended his hand. ‘I’m Ross.’

‘Xander,’ he said, shaking it.

‘Xander? I like that, it’s different.’

‘It’s just short for Alexander. Nothing special.’

‘Yeah, but most guys just go for Alex. Xander, though? That’s cool.’

‘Err, thanks.’ Xander wasn’t sure if the guy meant it, or if he was just trying to keep him sweet, but he appreciated it all the same. ‘I’ve, err, I’ve never really thought about it.’

‘So, what’s with the eye patch?’

Xander laughed. ‘Well, it’s not for decoration if that’s what you’re thinking.’

Ross’s eyes widened. ‘Holy shit, really?’

‘Really,’ Xander replied, lifting it up so that he could see the scarring underneath.

‘Wow, I’m sorry. I thought... well, when you’ve been in L.A. for a while you don’t question people’s fashion choices. I just thought it was...’

‘A statement?’ Xander finished for him. ‘Don’t worry, bud. I get a lot worse from people.’

‘Well if it helps, I think it makes you look hot. Like, not that you wouldn’t be without it. It’s just it gives you that little more mysterious edge. You’re hot and mysterious.’

Xander smiled. ‘You’re cute.’

‘Thanks.’ He looked like he was seriously debating saying something. ‘Look... err, I dunno if you’d be interested, but... it’s kind of dead here, and I’ll be the one closing up tonight. If you wanted, you could, erm, stay behind, maybe...’

‘Yeah,’ Xander said, without even thinking about it. ‘Sure.’

Ross beamed and bit his bottom lip. ‘Great, it’ll be another ten minutes or so. Okay?’

Xander nodded. ‘Okay.’

He hadn’t necessarily planned for something like this to happen. If he had, he would have gone to a gay bar to make sure he had the best possible chance of finding someone. As it was, he had just selected one located the closest to his lodgings. He always considered a chance hook-up a possibility though, which is why he’d made a habit of carrying round condoms and lubricant with him.

Xander frequented a lot of bars these days, as he had done the previous year after he walked out on his wedding. The thought of Spike sacrificing himself and getting incinerated by the sun was still taking his toll. He would have given anything to turn back time. What would have happened if they had pursued something after that night in the basement? What if he’d been truthful and just admitted sooner what he thought? Last year, he’d gone to Spike’s crypt and admitted to him that the reason he hadn’t tried to pursue a relationship was because he was scared. There were so many tears. Why did he worry so much about what others thought? So what if one of them was a vampire? So what if they were both men? Who the hell cared?

‘Hey.’

Ross had returned and was beaming at him. It was evident that he only had one thing on his mind. 

Xander looked round and saw that the last remaining stragglers were indeed gone. ‘So where do you wanna go?’ 

He pointed towards a door behind the bar. ‘I was thinking just through there. We’re the only ones here, so you don’t have to worry about anything.’

Xander shrugged. ‘Sure, lead the way.

He got up off the stool and followed the young bartender. The prospect of other people being around hadn’t even occurred to him – he was beyond getting concerned about that kind of thing. He just needed to release his load and then hopefully get some sleep.

They were stood in a small kitchen area. Xander had had sex in public places before (the Magic Box being one that immediately sprung to mind) but never in a kitchen. This something to tick off the bucket list, at least.

Ross approached him and put his hands around him, lowering his hands to Xander’s butt cheeks. Xander had been wrong about them being the same height. Ross was a few inches shorter, so he found himself looking down at him.

‘I’ve locked up out front,’ Ross explained, ‘so are you okay using the back way?’ 

Xander smirked. ‘Well, that’s pretty much where I was thinking of going.’ 

‘You’re filthy,’ Ross grinned. ‘Now, let’s see what you’ve got...’

Within seconds, Xander was leaning back against a counter with his trousers around his ankles and his boxer-shorts to his knees. Ross was on his knees, sucking him off with so much enthusiasm it was clear that he’d been desperate for an opportunity to do this to someone for quite a while. Xander had one hand placed behind Ross’s head, whilst he kept his one remaining eye closed – determined not to admit what he was doing. It felt like an insult to Spike to be here with another man, but he couldn’t help it. He was a human being and he had natural urges that needed to be fulfilled. Ross would satisfy those for the time being.

‘You’ve got a condom, right?’

Xander snapped out of his daze and looked down to see that Ross was now staring at him expectantly. ‘Oh, right, err, yeah... yeah I’ve got one with me,’ he replied, fumbling in his pocket. ‘Always come prepared.’

Ross stood up and opened a nearby drawer. ‘There should be some cream or oil around here somewhere we can use...’

‘I got lube, it’s okay.’ He finished putting on the condom and pulled the lubricant out of his pocket.

‘Cool,’ Ross replied, unbuckling his belt.

Xander squeezed a generous amount into his hand and then threw the tube to Ross, who began to immediately apply it to his asshole. As he did this, Xander made sure his penis was well greased.

This wasn’t the first time he’d done this – whilst he may have been on the receiving end for Spike, he’d actually tried anal with Anya once. She didn’t like it and made it known that it wasn’t to happen again, but at least it gave him some experience. He considered it training for what was going to happen now.

Ross was bent over across the counter and Xander positioned himself behind him. He gently guided his penis towards the anus, making sure to go slowly since he remembered how intense it could be. Ross gave a sharp intake of breath and began to quietly moan, but otherwise didn’t offer much protest. Xander guessed that this was far from his first rodeo.

Xander placed his hands on Ross’s lower back and soon found his groove. It felt like such a relief to be doing this after everything that had happened. That’s why, as he stood there pounding away at essentially nothing more than slab of meat, he had to remind himself that he was doing nothing wrong. He was a consenting adult having sex with another consenting adult. Then why did he feel so guilty?

No, he had to stop making himself feel bad. This was good for him – this was therapeutic. Every ounce of frustration he’d been bottling up for so long was now coming out in every thrust. His heart was pounding faster and he could feel the blood pumping in his ears as he got harder with each firm shove of his pelvis. Ross was crying out noises of gratitude, but Xander could barely register it. He was solely focused on his own pleasure, on reaching his own goal. He hadn’t even had the energy to masturbate the past few days.

As it got closer to finishing, he got faster.

And he thought of Spike.

Images began to rush through his head, each one as vivid as if it were happening right then and there. The moment when he’d first seen Spike naked, stood before him in all his glory. When he was on the bed and Spike lay on top of him, kissing and caressing his skin. When he and Spike had gotten naked together and spent a final night in each other’s arms. The next morning when he woke up and had to leave, but not without giving the vampire one last kiss of pure passion. He could still taste him on his lips.

‘Jesus **fucking** Christ!’ Xander exclaimed, as he finally ejaculated.

He pulled out and used a nearby table to steady himself as he attempted to catch his breath.

Ross walked a few feet away and began to furiously masturbate with his back to him. Xander didn’t care that he hadn’t been able to stimulate an orgasm out of Ross the way that Spike had to him. He was beyond caring at this point. He waited until his penis was softer, then took off the condom and threw it in the big. Ross eventually discharged into his hand and then turned back to face him. 

‘Thanks, I needed that.’

Xander nodded, as wiped himself over with a towel. ‘Yeah, me too.

The two men stood cleaning themselves for the next few minutes, a certain awkward tranquillity in the air. Xander was still panting heavily, the thoughts of Spike continued running through his head.

‘Look,’ Xander said, buttoning up his jeans, ‘I don’t wanna be rude or anything, but...’

‘It was just a fuck, I know.’

‘So you’re okay if we, you know, don’t exchange phone numbers, or...’ he awkwardly trailed off.

Ross laughed. ‘You’re released.’

Xander walked over and pecked him on the cheek. ‘Thanks, bud. You’re a good guy.’

Leaving the bar, Xander was suddenly struck by how much his stomach was hurting. The alley was dark and he started to feel a rather dizzy. He stumbled behind a dumpster and rested himself against a wall. Just when he assumed he was going to be okay, a sudden jolt ran through his abdomen and he threw up. 

He stood hunched over a while, watching the remaining vomit steadily dribble out of his open mouth. The moment really encapsulated for him how far he’d fallen in life.

He had to get over here. Not just Los Angeles, but the whole of America. Xander wasn’t sure where he was going to end up, but his plan was to get a plane ticket as soon as possible and go somewhere far away.

And he made a promise to himself: he was never going to have sex with another man again. He couldn’t do that to Spike’s memory again. He felt disgusted with himself for what he’d done tonight and swore to not make that mistake twice. Spike was the only guy for him – nobody else could possibly compare.

He staggered through the streets, vaguely heading in the direction of his current accommodation.

He would have to get in touch with Buffy, or with Willow, or with Giles – or heck, just with anyone who could guide him back to feeling useful again. There were Slayers all over the world now. He could get stationed somewhere looking after some of them. Yes, that’s what he would do. Well, maybe not straight away. He needed to leave the country first and sort his head out. Once he’d done that, then he could focus on a mission.

His head was still making him feel light-headed and thus he was unsteady on his feet. After about a minute, he ended up tripping and landed on a patch of grass beside the pavement. He crawled into the foetal position and started to sob. He had made a mess of everything.

In an attempt to block out the world, he closed his eyes.

His thoughts brought forth the picture of himself snuggled with the bleach-blond vampire. Oddly content, he smiled to himself. ‘Spike...’


End file.
